I’ve been known to wake up family members at 12:01 a.m. to be the first to share holiday greetings. They
seem to enjoy it so much that I thought I would check if there were any holidays I was missing.
I was disappointed to find out through a Google search that I had just missed the annual
"Hoodie-Hoo" day on Friday. People in the northern hemisphere, tired of winter, are supposed
to go outside at noon, wave their hands over their heads and chant "hoodie-hoo." But to be
honest, it was probably too cold to wave and chant for long that day.
Just a few days earlier, Feb. 15, was Singles Awareness Day for those who are unattached. I’m not really
sure this is necessary since Valentine’s Day the day before pretty much makes every single person
glaringly aware of their loneliness.
Not all days are devoted to self-awareness. Some days are just for pure enjoyment.
Such as July 22, which has been deemed Hammock Day. During this day, it’s permissible to get out of your
hammock to fetch a snack or beverage, but not to work. Cutting the lawn is strictly forbidden.
Bubble Bath Day is Jan. 8, but it’s probably unwise to spend the entire 24-hour period in the tub. No
Housework Day is April 7, though I prefer to spread that out through the year.
Many days are dedicated to certain foods. National S’mores Day is Aug. 10, Cheese Pizza Day is Sept. 5,
followed by National Cream-Filled Doughnut Day on Sept. 14. There are also days set aside to honor
butterscotch pudding, chocolate milk shakes, potato chips, corn dogs, apple dumplings, popcorn, jelly
beans, lasagna, cheesecake and candy corn. Those are deserving of days, though I’m not sold on National
Fruitcake Day, which is Dec. 27. I noticed no days singing the praises of celery, brussels sprouts or
kale. Some would have selective support, since those recognizing World Vegetarian Day on Oct. 1 probably
won’t be celebrating National Cheeseburger Day on Sept. 18.
The timing of some "holidays" is particularly fitting. "Be Late for Something Day" on
Sept. 5 is followed by "Fight Procrastination Day" on Sept. 6. On some "holiday"
calendars, Valentine’s Day shares the date with International Condom Day.
It’s vital that some days don’t get mixed up. It would be very embarrassing if someone confused
"Talk like Shakespeare Day" in April with "Talk like a Pirate Day" in September.
Also not to be confused are National Tweed Day on April 2 and International Nude Day on July 14, when the
weather is more appropriate for shedding tweed or any other fabric.
Some professions have also claimed days. There are days dedicated to teachers, doctors, armed forces,
nurses, weathermen, EMS providers, wait staff and newspaper carriers. The former "secretaries
day" has been promoted to administrative professionals day.
Some animals were also deemed worthy of dedicated days, such as pigs, buzzards, elephants, moles,
rabbits, birds and even Shamu the whale.
Then there are animal days that come with specific instructions, like Dress Up Your Pet Day on Jan. 14,
and Frog Jumping Day on May 13.
Other days cry out for further explanation, such as Peculiar People Day; Hula in the Coola Day; Create a
Vacuum Day; Panic Day; Blah, Blah, Blah Day; Lumpy Rug Day; National For Pete’s Sake Day; and Take Your
Plants for a Walk Day. (Honest, I’m not making these up.) There’s even a Run it up the Flagpole and See
if Anyone Salutes Day. It’s on Jan. 2, in case you wish to float an idea for the flagpole next year.
Left-handers, who are short-changed the rest of the year, get the thumbs up with their own day on Aug.
13. There’s a Don’t Cry over Spilled Milk Day, and a White Cane Safety Day, which seems like it might be
safer to honor that year round.
There are days set aside for hugging Australians, doing the chicken dance, reciting bad poetry (again,
not on Shakespeare day), wearing felt hats, being bald and free, and limericks (which may overlap with
bad poetry day.)
If you found this past Sunday to be exhausting, that may be because there was so much to celebrate.
According to one holiday calendar, Feb. 22 is Be Humble Day, National Cook a Sweet Potato Day, National
Margarita Day, Walking the Dog Day, International World Thinking Day … that’s enough to squeeze out
the more traditional George Washington Birthday holiday.
This past Monday was Curling is Cool Day, International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day (maybe as a reward
for the walk the day before), and National Banana Bread Day. Tuesday was National Tortilla Chip Day and
World Spay Day (better get out the dog biscuits again.)
Today is Inconvenience Yourself Day, National Chocolate Covered Peanut Day (a personal favorite of mine)
and National Clam Chowder Day.
Apparently, it takes an act of Congress to get bona fide national day dedicated. Which brings up a lot of
questions about who values days devoted to rubber duckies, plum pudding and going barefoot enough to
work with Congress.
Some topics are so weighty that they claim entire months. For example, the month of April is shared by
alcohol awareness, autism awareness, Confederate history, financial literacy, jazz appreciation, child
abuse prevention, poetry, and sexual assault awareness.
The month of May is dedicated to zombie awareness, while just one day, March 20, is set aside as Alien
Abduction Day.
Just a heads up. Thursday is Levi Strauss Day and National Chili Day. I’ll make sure to let my family
know.