The day after Thanksgiving is known as Black Friday.But over at the Alzheimer’s Association of
Northwest Ohio offices it’sknown as “the one day out of the whole year that we get the most phonecalls.”It
makes sense. The adult kids living far away have returned home to bewith their parents for the holiday and
had their eyes opened.“She wore the same clothes three days in a row, there’s a big stack ofbills. In the
refrigerator you see the potato salad you bought them whenyou were last there in July,” said Lynn Ritter,
education coordinatorfor the Alzheimer’s Association.“She sounded fine over the phone” all those months in
between. “Theimage she projected over the phone was very different,” but it’s obviousmom is in
trouble.Ritter was one of the members of a panel of local experts fieldingaudience questions on the
challenges of caregiving during Monday’sOptimal Aging seminar at BGSU.Denise Niese, director of the Wood
County Committee on Aging, agreedabout the tsunami of “SOS” calls her agency receives on the Friday after
Thanksgiving.“We get slammed with calls from people asking about the home-deliveredmeals, because of all the
weight their (parent) has lost” since the lasttime the child was at home, Niese said.She recommended that
anyone who suspects dementia in a parent, aunt oruncle start by trying to get that person to go for a
physical exam. Itwill rule out physical problems that can affect memory, includingurinary tract infections
or nutritional deficiency.Justin Moor, from the Area Office on Aging of Northwest Ohio, warnedthat
caregiving is a formidable role, and people should take advantageof all the help that is available.“Put on
your own mask first,” he said, offering the airplane passenger analogy.Moor recalled the family saga of a
home-bound woman with whom he had professional dealings.Three years later, when he went back to see the
family, “she was theonly one still living.” The woman’s spouse had died, and so had her47-year-old son and
caregiver.Caregivers have to pace themselves so they are good for the long haul.“‘Old’ is a destination.
‘Aging’ is a journey,” said Tom Stofac, CEO ofthe Ohio Masonic Home. “That also applies to us if we’re
caregivers.”It’s something more and more of us will be.Mike Magee, M.D., the final speaker for the day,
noted that 50 percent of all 60-year-olds have a parent alive today.“The traditional three-generation family
is rapidly being replaced with afour-generation family, and will soon be a five-generation family,”said
Magee, president of Positive Medicine Inc., a health communicationsfirm. He is also past president of the
National Association ofPhysician Broadcasters; former senior vice president of PennsylvaniaHospital and
former professor of surgery at Jefferson Medical College.It’s when these four and five different generations
“begin to competefor limited resources, that things will become increasingly complex.”Magee recommended that
Americans take advantage of their family linkages.“We want the young people to care about the elders” in
their family, so they will be willing to hang around and help.But at the same time “we also want learning to
pass down the generational ladder.”Dr. Nancy Orel, director of the gerontology program at BGSU, noted
thatsome of most poignant stories she’s heard about caregivers have involvedgrandchildren.