Tag: Relatively Speaking

The wife and I have lived at the same address for thirty-six years. We have been there so long we have been labelled a fixture, a staple in our neighborhood.

While many people have specific financial goals for retirement; creating a diverse portfolio capable of weathering the economic roller coaster we always seem to be on, my retirement plan is much more modest. I simply wanted the exterior of my home to be as paint-free as possible. Thanks to aluminum and vinyl, I have almost accomplished that goal.

In the lifespan of a long marriage, there will be times when a spouse just doesn’t want you around. It’s not that there is a relationship problem, or that you smell bad, or that your toenails are too long. It’s mostly because it’s inconvenient to have you around.

Back in April, the wife and I met up with my cousin and her husband in Ohiopyle, Pennsylvania, for a four-day getaway and some family bonding.

When you live in a developed neighborhood, it is understood that there will be utility easements with which you will have to contend. Like, if you want to spit in your own yard, you need to get a permit, call OUPS for utility markings, submit a drawing of where you are going to spit, and wait for final approval before you launch your loogie.

There has been a new trend in recent years for raising money for noble causes. Sometimes called Paint and Partake, Booze and Brushes, Paint and Pour, Sips and Splatters; the “art” of creating a complete painting in three hours while indulging in the fruit of the vine has become a very popular event.

Sitting at the breakfast table in our sunroom, I said to the wife, “You know what? I feel sorry for kids today who don’t have all 22 volumes of World Book Encyclopedias on a book shelf.”

At some point in the life of a property owner a change of some sort may be desired or required. Be it a new roof, furnace, sunroom, bathroom remodel, or just a new color, sooner or later a project will happen.

Let’s just imagine for a moment that you are in your 60s or 70s and in a weak moment, you decide to adopt a toddler.

At the age of 70, combined with being a writer for the past 31 years, there is a piece of equipment I have never owned: my very own laptop.