We all know these people who feel like their way is the best way of doing something. Just because they did something one way and it worked out great for them, now as far as they are concerned, it can only be done the way they did it. It can be anything from, raising kids, praying to God, what kind of car to buy or who is the best doctor to see. People have ways they like to do things, and that is fine, but the problem comes when they think that their way is the only way and all others lead to disaster.
There is nothing wrong with having one's own way of doing things. In fact, having a system is very helpful. I have my own way of going about things that work well for me, and I wouldn't feel comfortable deviating from my plan. I am sure in the past I've tried to convince people that my way is the best way, I mean I am only human. However, I must be able to have the attitude that, just because it worked for me, it might not work for another person just as well.
As people, we may like to try new things, but most times we will fall back into an old familiar groove. It's easy, doesn't take much time and we know it works. Being in a groove is very good, it saves time, energy, heartache, money and more. Unfortunately, we often act like our way is the only for everybody. We even may get into it with others just trying to convince them that our way is best, and sometimes when we try it one way and it doesn't work, we receive an 'I told you so' from them. On the other hand, when we try it their way and it doesn't work, they will tell us we did it wrong. We cannot win! Its a lose, lose proposition.
I used to go and see a man with cerebral palsy when I was in my early 20s, and he helped me to see there is more to life than thinking I was helpless and doomed to a life of hopelessness. I did enjoy our talks together, at first. I had a renewed hope that things would work for me the way things worked out for him. He works with disabled people throughout the world, and developed a camp where people with disabilities can meet and interact with other individuals with disabilities. As time progressed, I got the sense that he was very much in the mindset that people have to do things his way. I told him about writing a column -- at first he was happy for me. He told me that it was great that I was writing about issues that affect the disabled community. When I told him I wanted to write to help everyone, not just the disabled, he went off on me. His mindset was I just need to help people with disabilities. I was in total disbelief. I know one thing he said when I got over my initial shock was "you will never make it." He went from being happy for me to it will never work out.
We should realize when people have the attitude that we need to do something their way, what they are really doing is putting us in a box. When they think they know the best way of doing things, what they don't see is we are all different and have our own way of doing stuff. The best way for them can very possibly be the hardest way for us. We should tell them we will try it, and see what happens, or if we know it doesn't work for us just tell them so. We don't have to try to convince them that they are wrong.
If all else fails, don't try to tell a suggesting person that they are wrong. Just say OK and walk away. I have found that nine times out of 10 what we argue about is pointless. Most likely it's not going to make any difference what way we do something, so why get in a little argument over nothing at all? We don't have to be right all the time, and even if we are right, sometimes it's worthless trying to get another person to see that we are right. Just let it go. In the end we will be much happier.
My name is Kyle Snyder, I was born with cerebral palsy. My CP affects the way I walk and talk. I graduated from West Homes High School in 2005, in Millersburg, Ohio. I like to write, and began writing in a small community newspaper about six years ago. I am currently writing a book about my journey in life as a person with cerebral palsy. My hope is to bring hope to the hopeless, and encouragement to the discouraged. I hope this monthly column will help each and everyone of you on your journey in your own life. You can email me at email@example.com. I will see you every month.