Dr. Anya

Dr. Anya (Heather Trahan) writes about polyamory in “Opening Love.”

Dr. Anya (Heather Trahan) is a recent English PhD. graduate of BGSU. "Opening Love" is the outgrowth of her research and experience of the polyamory movement and community. "Polyamory" means many loves and in this day of changing perceptions and acceptances it has its own 21st century inclusions and viewpoints.

Dr. Anya presented her ideas at Grounds For Thought at a recent reading and will be sharing her ideas at Books-A-Million in Perrysburg July 25 from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. She has also done several radio interviews discussing the ideas of "Opening Love".

The author's attitude is peaceful and loving. She is not against other viewpoints, she does not want to proselytize or convert. She ask readers to examine what she calls the normative life style. i.e. conventional society's norms. New adult loves are ordinarily sanctioned only by death or divorce. In the polyamory world new and multiple loves are accepted as a chance for spiritual growth as well as happiness.

When there are multiple relationships, "all are aware of what is happening and have negotiated specifics of the situation in a way that brings the highest possible comfort, joy and trust."

The observer immediately thinks "polygamy" and swinger." Both are dismissed as unworthy. Polygamy is regarded as patriarchal, and bad for women and children. Swingers are more for adventure and the pleasure of the moment.  Forging deep emotional and long term relations are not goals.

One challenge in reading "Opening Love" is the redesigning of vocabulary - expanding and redirecting meaning and even inventing new words.

The recent book, "The Opposite of Loneliness" failed to find a word for that wondrous state. "Compersion" is polyamory's answer to jealousy - it is the opposite of jealousy. Compersion is the ability to rejoice in another's joy and happiness. Compersion is counterbalance to the terrible "schadenfreude" which is the malicious joy in another's calamity. Not yet in the Oxford dictionary compersion has made it to the Urban Dictionary, Wikipedia and a number of publications, including Psychology Today.

Desire becomes an all encompassing word expressing the core of one's being existing in physical, spiritual emotional worlds. Desire leads to love, a life of heightened sensitivities and eventually to love of self, the planet, the cosmos. Very idealistic.

Intentional loves or families are bound together by shared values such as feminism, the green movement, queer political working, holistic medicine and the like. To Dr. Anya living an intentional life is living a life of joy and happiness.

The word "queer" is being rehabilitated to include all non-heterosexual relationships and orientations. The verb form of queer: "To queer is to experiment. To queer is to try something new, usually in a way that breaks tradition." Queer  is a useful noun as all the sub-categories of sexual orientations are being lumped together.

In some ways "Opening Love" can be looked at as a "how to manual" directing meditations, learning to forgive and let go, developing "magical" rituals to tap into cosmic energy. Polyamores include in their community many who believe in the principals of multi-relationships but are happy non-participants. Non-communicants so to speak.

Dr. Anya draws on spiritual writers from Jesus to Buddha to develop the higher consciousness ideals of polyamory. Love in all forms, joy in being, celebrating free will are her goals for the polyamorus.

"Opening Love" is recommended to those interested in spiritually, modern lifestyles and society's changing views of what is normal. Contrast reading: anything by Danielle Steele. Companion reading; Karen Armstrong, "The Spiral Staircase."