Gender plays role in spousal health

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We’ve all heard that married people live longer, for a variety of reasons.
But new research looking at long-time gay and lesbian couples seems to
suggest that gender may have greater effect on staying healthy in a
marriage than does the gender-identity of the partners.
“Women provide more social control over a spouse’s health habits,” noted
Dr. Debra Umberson from the University of Texas at Austin, during the
third of three programs offered in the day-long Same-Sex Couples:
Frontiers in Measurement and Analysis conference held Wednesday at Bowling Green State University, and
hosted by the university’s Center for Family and Demographic Research.
In addition, previous research has shown “women are more likely to be
caregivers when a spouse is ill” and also to provide more social support
to their spouses.
Further, people who are married are likely to smoke less and drink less
than others, although they are more likely to gain weight.
So how do partners influence each other’s health behaviors?
Umberson headed up a summer 2012 survey of Massachusetts residents who
were legally married and had been couples for a long period of time —
including in the sample equal numbers of gay, lesbian and straight
couples.
In-depth interviews were done with 15 couples in each subgroup — all of
whom fell in the 40 to 60 age range and who had been together 15 years,
on average.
“I was surprised at how common cancer was” among those interviewed,
which allowed the UT researchers to compare and contrast how the couples
handled the cancer diagnosis and what followed it, depending whether
the ill person was the husband in a heterosexual marriage, the wife, one
member of a lesbian union, or one of the two men in a gay marriage.
Each member of each pair was interviewed separately, and confidentially.
In the case of Anne and Cheryl, wed eight years and together 15 years,
Anne was diagnosed with cancer. Cheryl, who was the main breadwinner,
then also took over all the home care and, according to Anne, “went to
every medical appointment and procedure, she advocated for me with the
medical professionals and she dealt with the insurance.”
Cheryl, interviewed separately, admitted the experience of seeing Anne
through her cancer “was just crushing. I would cry on the way to work
and cry on the way home. I would try to hide my emotions,” which is
something researchers discover females in heterosexual marriages doing,
too.
Cheryl says the stress of being the caregiver took a toll. “I’m self-employed and I couldn’t really take
a lot of time off.”
By contrast, men in long-time gay pairings “definitely care for each
other, but are more autonomous” in their approach to cancer in one of
the two, said Umberson.
When Andrew was diagnosed with cancer, Eric said he would do what he
could to make life easier for his husband — “Can I go out and get
chicken soup for you?” he might ask, “but,” added Eric, “it’s not really
mothering.”
Umberson described theirs as “a less intense exchange” and at the same time, “involving less stress.”
Among the heterosexual couples, Gwen, 52, was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and husband Hal, 58, was the
caregiver.
“Hal was incredible… and I knew he got weary and he needed a break.
And he did take one and he went away for two weeks” on vacation at one
point during Gwen’s chemo treatments, she reported.
“There are times when I just need a time-out,” Hal told his interviewer.
In the last of the four couples, Joe, 60, and Lori, 54, married 14 years, it was Joe who had cancer.
“People came to visit me in the hospital and then wondered why they
came. I wasn’t being very nice,” Joe said, admitting he was irritable
and depressed.
“I know by the way he is breathing in the morning, if he is going to
wake up and have a good day or a bad day,” said Lori, expressing a kind
of hyper-awareness of her husband’s state that was echoed by lesbian
caregivers.
“He was in the hospital, but I needed to be sort of a caregiving person.
I worked hard to meet his needs and make sure that his nursing care was
good, that he wasn’t in any pain,” Lori said.
As these four couples illustrate, it’s being female that correlates with
being a much more hands-on, nonstop — and probably stressed —
caregiver. Gay or straight status doesn’t seem to matter, Umberson said,
summarizing the early results of the research.
No matter who the partners in a union are, she added, her group’s
findings also suggest the need for more societal support of caregivers.
“If it’s going to make Cheryl sick, that pretty much undermines the
value of the caregiving” Cheryl is providing for Anne, Umberson said,
wryly.

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