The numbers change almost monthly.
At last count, gay marriage is now legal in 17 states, plus Colorado has civil unions, and Michigan’s ban
on gay marriage is currently being challenged before the state’s Supreme Court.
Sociologists and others experience unique challenges when doing same-sex couples research, as indeed so
many are now doing.
First off, there’s the difficulty of defining who is a lesbian, gay or bisexual; and then deciding how to
define a couple, says Dr. Esther Rothblum, professor of women’s studies at San Diego State University.

She spoke on "Challenges and Opportunities in Studying the Longest ‘Legal’ Same-Sex Couples in North
America" during the BGSU Center for Family and Demographic Research annual symposium on Wednesday
in the Bowen-Thompson Student Union.
"Sexual orientation" is not the same from one couple to the next, or even from one gay or
lesbian couple to the next.
One person may self-identify "I am a lesbian," while another simply fantasizes about women.
Another complicating layer is that the two members of a gay or lesbian couple can differ. "One
identifies as lesbian and the other says ‘I’m not lesbian, I just love Susan,’" Rothblum explained.

And how long do the two people have to have been together to be called a couple? "A month? A year?
Five years?"
Research on heterosexuals has nearly always focused on married couples, but straight couples who are
living together, but not wed, differ from married couples in many ways.
Since most gay and lesbian couples either live in states where marriage is not legal for them, or where
it has only been legal for a few years, they fall into a kind of gray area for researchers.
For serious research, a "comparison group" is always needed.
Rothblum suggested using the heterosexual siblings of gay, lesbian and bisexual (LGB) subjects as the
comparison group.
"Siblings are often similar on race, ethnicity, age, parental socio-economic status, and religion in
childhood."
This is important since research has shown that, as a population, LGB people have less contact with their
parents, and many live at a geographic distance. They are also less likely to have children than their
heterosexual peers and siblings.
According to Dr. Gary Gates of UCLA, another speaker at the BGSU symposium, about 20 percent of gay and
lesbian couples in America have minor children.
The 2012 American Community Survey found that 13 percent of gay male couples have children at home, while
the figure is 28 percent for lesbian couples.
"A higher percentage of these couples are in the South," Gates said.
LGB couples with children are also more likely to have married younger, have more religious influence,
and be members of lower socio-economic groups, than are childless gay couples, Gates said.
The reason?
"Many of these are couples who had (the children) in an earlier heterosexual relationship,"
rather than with the current LGB partner, Gates said.
Being from the South, they grew up in a culture that is less accepting of gays, and may have remained
closeted or in denial of their homosexuality longer, he added, to the extent of first marrying someone
of the opposite gender.
Rothblum offered further interesting insights about LGB couples who have been together a long time – and
are, by definition, somewhat older.
Because they grew up in an era less accepting of being gay, "in many cases their parents didn’t
treat them well earlier," she said, echoing Gates’ findings, which adds to the irony that in
America, "historically, it’s often been ‘the unmarried daughter’ who takes care of the aging parent
– in other words, the lesbian."
Women in the lesbian community even have a phrase for this phenomenon: "Feeding the hand that bit
you," Rothblum noted.
She offered other interesting findings from a 2000-2001 study of LGB couples in Vermont, the first state
to allow civil unions.
• During that first year it was legal, 2,475 couples had a civil union. Of the total, two-thirds were
women and 10 percent were people of color.
• Those couple who obtained a civil union reported "increased psychological benefits" and
"increased acceptance by family and friends."
• Same-sex couples "are less religious than heterosexual couples, on average," probably
reflecting the less accepting attitudes found in many mainstream denominations toward gay people.
• "They are more egalitarian" in terms of things like sharing finances than are heterosexual
couples.
Speaking of finances, Rothblum reported that there are 1,138 separate federal benefits to gay marriage,
including social security survivor and spousal benefits, immigration rights, Family and Medical Leave
Act, and inheritance rights.
As of 2013, same-sex married couple can now file federal income tax jointly.